I feel absolutely terrible

I have had a thumping headache all day long. It feels a little bit like the flu, but only from the neck up. I don't have any muscle pains or a fever or anything like that, just the blinding headache and my sinuses are killing me.

But that isn't why I feel awful.

I mentioned a while back that I was trying to encourage Chloe to play by herself a bit more and to try and be a little more independent in her play rather than her developing a need for me to lead the way for her. It's been going brilliantly and she savours the hour or two (even more, sometimes I can't get her to come spend time with me) playing in her room, or in the garden. We painted some big letters and numbers on the walls in her room (we'll be redecorating her room soon so I wasn't bothered about painting on the walls) and she enjoys spending a bit of time copying them onto her blackboard.

Today she was playing happily in her room and I was doing a few bits and pieces downstairs when I heard an almighty crash. I think I managed to get from the kitchen, up the stairs to into her bedroom in about four strides, it was that loud.

I opened her bedroom door to be met with the sight of the chest of drawers in her bedroom toppled forward, and kind of resting on the bottom drawer so it hadn't actually fallen the whole way over. All three drawers were fully out and clothes were all were over the floor. Chloe was pressed against the farthest wall in her room with both hands clamped over the crown of her head and she was in complete hysterics. Do you that really deep almost painful sounding crying a child does when they're really hurt.

I panicked, assuming the worst and that the chest had fallen over and cracked her on the head and that she might be bleeding or worse.

I sat down with her and checked her over, trying to calm her down. After I'd established that she wasn't bleeding or cut in any way and I'd managed to calm her to some extent I checked her head properly and there didn't even appear to be any bumps or signs that the chest had hit her.

I'm assuming that she felt the chest move above her and managed to get far enough out of the way as it fell, that either it didn't hit her but she felt the top drawer come to rest above her head or it grazed her. Either way it obviously scared the wits out of her.

I felt really sick at the time. Does that happen to anyone else, when your child cries like that, you feel really nauseous?

Anyway, that isn't the reason I feel terrible.

Once she'd calmed down a little more I asked her what had happened and she told me that she had opened the three drawers looking for something and the chest just fell over on top of her.

A little bit of background, the chest of drawers in Chloe's room is a solid piece of furniture. When it came time that I knew she needed one for her room, I bought the heaviest most solid one I could find rather than a flatpack version because I knew chances were at some stage she may try to climb it. All the weight in this thing is in the chest itself and not in the drawers and I've had all three of the drawers open many times and there has never been any risk of it falling over, its just too heavy.

I feel absolutely terrible today because the next thing I said to her was "are you sure that's what happened?" and every child knows that is mummy code for "are you lying to me?"

She burst into tears again and remained adamant that she had pulled the drawers out and it just fell over, but still I wasn't entirely convinced. I still thought that she had pulled the drawers out and then tried to climb up them or pulled really hard on them or something to make it over balance.

I finally half heartedly accepted her version of events and set about getting the chest of drawers back up off the floor and all the clothes put away.

I lifted the thing back up again and folded all the clothes back into the right drawers. The drawers were still open as sitting on the floor I folded a little blanket she still has, placed it in the bottom drawer and still in the same position pushed the bottom drawer closed.

And I felt the whole thing move....

But I'm not as fast as Chloe....

And I caught that top drawer square on the head.

Needless to say the damn chest is now fixed to the joist in the wall with two 'L' brackets so it isn't going anywhere again.

So now I feel absolutely terrible, which I completely deserve.

And no amount of painkillers will shift this headache. And I deserve that too!

GO handmade - Issue Two

The new issue of GO handmade is up, its only a week late but sure.

Open publication - Free publishing - More handmade

Menu Plan 24/8 to 30/8

I'm going back a normal(ish) menu plan this week. With Chloe starting school on Thursday I was to try and take as many variables out of the week as possible.

Monday

Beef casserole with potatoes and vegetables. Bob had to go out on a call on Saturday night to a farm shop (he wasn't actually on call but the guy who was had to do a 2am dash to the hospital with his wife when she went into labour). After he finished fixing the alarm the owner gave him a huge silverside which I cooked yesterday but there's still a load left and I'll use some for the casserole.

Tuesday

I'll make stir fry tonight. I have plenty of vegetables in the fridge (none from the garden unfortunately) and I have noodles.

Wednesday

I'll make a curry for Bob and I. Chloe will be at my mum's house this evening and will have dinner there, although I have my mum warned to be on her best behaviour today. I don't want her making a whole fuss over Chloe and then her arriving home hyper or worse, over tired. So it should just be like any normal Wednesday.

Thursday and Friday

Chloe's firs two days of school. Bob has booked the two days off work to be able to take her to school and collect her again. I won't plan an evening meal as such for these two days. A lot of you mentioned before that she'll likely be fairly tired when she gets home so I'll just plan a light lunch and then sandwiches, wraps or something similar in the evening. I'll also make sure I have plenty of snacky things around the house for her to nibble on in between talking a mile a minute about her day.

Saturday

Again Chloe will be at my mum's house for dinner today. Bob and I will have a late lunch and then something small when Chloe comes home. Then he wants pizza and a movie once she's safely tucked in bed.

Sunday

I'll roast a chicken either on Saturday night or on Sunday morning. We haven't been to the beach in a few weeks now and I'm hoping for dry weather at the very least, then we can pack up a big picnic and spend the day at the beach.

Baking

We'll make some oat and raisin cookies either today or tomorrow. Honestly I want them more for me than anyone else but they do make good snacks too and I'm also planning to make some cupcakes with Chloe on Wednesday morning and she can take some to my mum's house for a little picnic with her friends. We'll still bake together once she's in school but I would imagine
that there won't be just as much time for things like that once the school year gets into full swing with homework and such.

Absolutely Typical

There's me driving everyone in the house completely nuts, watching them like hawks since I cleaned my carpets.

No you can't have a beer in the living room.

No don't get the blackcurrant, get the apple juice instead.

Don't spill.

Watch where you set that.

Put that glass up out of the way.

Do you really need to set the coffee cup right at the edge of the bloody coffee table.

And then I get up off my bum this morning to go to the kitchen, somehow manage to trip over my own two feet and throw half a cup of builder's brew tea all over the carpet.

I'm just glad Chloe wasn't here, because even she would have seen the irony!

I knew I should have went with wood floors.....

Firsts and Lasts

I don't think it has quite sunk in yet that today is Chloe's last Friday as a preschooler. Which also means that we have a total of six last such&suchadays left before she starts school this coming Thursday.

Once Thursday has come and gone it will be seven years before another big change in her life. Seven looooong years before we her last ever Primary School Friday and then she'll be off to secondary school.

It amazes me just how quickly the milestones slow down and grow fewer and farther between.

I still remember when these little changes flew towards and past me, sometimes like machine gun fire, it was difficult to recover from the last one before being hit by the next.

Like the day I could have taken off full pelt, fists in the air for a lap of honour around the block because she'd finally taken a full 8oz at a feed. The first time she slept right through the night without waking. Her first tooth. The day what I thought was colic disappeared forever and I finally realised that my little girl's wind went down rather than up and I'd just been patting the wrong end for the last two weeks.

Her first night away from home. Her first birthday. Her first dentist appointment and her first hair cut. Her first smile, first giggle and of course, her first tantrum.

She tried her new uniform on this morning again because firstly I wanted to be sure that she hadn't mysteriously grown half a foot overnight (it happens) and secondly because I just wanted to see her in it again. Her face lights up when she wears it and she looks so grown up.

So now we're down to her last six days as a preschooler, but there will be many days to come after that. The world isn't coming to an end, just a small part of her life and each of those days to come will be just as special as the last and we're looking forward to each and every last one of them.

Clarification

Alright, here's the thing. Yesterday I posted that I have already completed, wrapped and labelled all of my Christmas presents for people outside the house.

I may have given the impression that I've been toiling away and now have a huge box filled with dozens of beautifully handmade gifts and I'm thinking now that I should have elaborated on that a little more.

Last year, as much as I said at the time that I was cutting back and having some common sense by the time the New Year rolled around the total amount of presents I had made, bought and gifted ended up being as much as any other year. And if you had visited my home after Christmas you would have been forgiven for confusing my kitchen with the stock room at Marks and Spencer. There were at least ten tins of biscuits and likely more than that but I've blocked them from memory, countless boxes of sweets and chocolates were stashed everywhere. We tried giving the stuff away but everyone else seemed to be in the same boat. It was completely ridiculous and we were still trying to get through the stuff at Easter, in fact there's still a tub of Marksies mint collection chocolates in there that will need to be thrown out.

I swore to myself after last year that this Christmas we would be much more sensible. I told everyone that I would rather they hung on to their money rather than buying sweets and biscuits to give to us and I've reminded the of that since then. It sounds harsh but something along the lines of "don't buy for me because I'm not buying for you", it really does seem to be the only way to get the message across. Plus money's just going to be a lot tighter for everyone this year and I'd hate the thought of someone feeling obliged to buy me present.

So at this particular moment in time I have my whittled down list. So far I have prepared gifts for my mum which are a bag which I showed you the pattern for earlier in the year (although it wound up being teal and I changed the cable design for something more traditional (read more repetitive and quicker to knit) with two short handles instead of the long strap) and another shopping bag (one of the old fashioned mesh market bags with the round plastic handles).

I've made another beanie hat for my brother. He loves the look of knit hats but likes it when I make them for him because I line the hat with t-shirt cotton so its soft against his wee head and I've also made him a phone cosy for his blackberry (its only new so there's no chance of him upgrading as xmas). My dad is getting a phone cosy in his football team's colours (Man City) and a waterproof drawstring bag to go inside his backpack when he's on the motorbike to keep all his bits and pieces dry.

Beyond that I've made simple messenger bags for two aunts, Ann and Eleanor, who have been very good to me and my mum over the years (she wouldn't have been able to go back to work and probably would have lost our home when my dad left had it not been for them) and lastly I've knitted a gorgeous poncho for Ann's youngest daughter (my cousin and Chloe's best friend). She has beautiful red hair and it can be difficult to find clothes for girls that don't have pink in them somewhere so I've went with a nice safe cream with a green flower corsage pinned to the front. I also made her two hair bobbles and a fabric covered hair band from a tutorial I saw on Craft magazine a while back for the same pink reasons.

And that's really about it for dedicated presents. It isn't much really when you think about it and they're all quite simple and quick to make but they are made with love and made specifically for the person they'll be given to.

So that's it really, four bags each taking no more than two hours each, well five if you count the drawstring one, but that took all of half an hour, a couple of phone cosies which took about an hour all in, ok the poncho took a few hours but the hair accessories were whipped up in a few minutes and a hat which took no time.

I've finished the macrame scarf now for Eleanor, one colour in bright red and I made a second one for the shop and I've started a bracelet (which I'll make a few of) and I'll use the beads I received in a destash swap just placing them along the core strands and using the working strands to secure them.

I have to say though, when I look back over the things I've made and realised that it's taken, what, maybe 15 hours all in, 20 if you count the time thinking about what to make for each person I'm kind of disappointed in myself for not managing to be more organised in previous years. There just hasn't been any good excuse for not having things done (Last year was a mad rush to get finished).

Plus it works out well for me having, ok not everything, but a good lot done. I have my public liability insurance in place now, I'm registered as a small business (you have to within three months or they'll come looking for you, kidding the people at the Inland Revenue are lovely) and I'm just about to do my first tax return and now I'm thinking that maybe I should consider doing one of the larger craft fairs at Christmas. I was thinking about looking into St George's Market which is big in the run up to Christmas. The extra money at that time of the year certainly wouldn't hurt either.

Which means of course that now I have to make stock because that dear friends is one of the many, many things that I don't have organised.

And on top of all that I'll soon be adding another string to my bow, one that I'm really looking forward to but more on that soon enough. It'll be worth the wait, don't worry.

Nerd Alert

I'm paying lip service to the old menu plan this week. The temperature is to reach 29C by Wednesday so this week I will be mostly eating salads. Apart from tonight when we had burgers and onions rings followed by big slices of gingerbread with lemon icing. I'll post the recipe for that later in the week (the cake not the burgers).

Right, that's that out of the way.

I'm feeling very good about myself today because I had a very productive weekend. Do you ever get like that, if you take it easy over the weekend and relax you end up a bit depressed and feeling like you wasted all that time come Monday but if you manage to get a couple of things done and dusted you feel great about yourself? Maybe that's just me.

I checked the weather during the week and on seeing that it was to rain cats and dogs over the weekend I rented a big heavy duty steam cleaner for Saturday to tackle my carpets (happy in the knowledge that Chloe no longer spills).

On Saturday morning the weather was, as predicted, rubbish so the husband popped out and collected the steam cleaner. The plan was to set to work as soon as my mum collected Chloe in the afternoon. It rained all morning and the wind blew a gale and then my mum arrived and the clouds parted and the sun shone and the birdies sang their little hearts out. Murphy's out to kick my ass for getting one over on him (Bring. It. On).

So I spent my Saturday afternoon in the sweltering heat, cleaning carpets and sweating like a mad woman. Do you ever remember that advert years ago for women's antiperspirant "They say women don't sweat, they glow. Well I glow buckets"? Yep, that was me on Saturday. It wasn't a pretty sight, clothes glued to my back, hair plastered to my forehead. Meanwhile, Murphy's wet himself laughing, he's on the floor by this stage tears streaming down his face, fists pounding the floor with the hilarity of it all. Don't worry I clipped him round the back of the head with the cleaner just to remind who's boss round here.

I lost roughly a stone that afternoon, but later found it again at the bottom of a tube of Pringles. Balance restored.

Still I sit here now surround by lovely clean carpets. The windows have been open full all weekend and the smell has all but disappeared. Have you ever cleaned your carpets with an industrial steamer because let me tell you, the smell is atrocious.

They smelt perfectly fine before I started, but if anyone has ever knocked over a pint in your living room and you spent a good ten minutes and countless towels making sure you mopped up every last drop, you may have even got down on your knees with that silly Scrubber carpet cleaner thingy the husband thought would be a good idea let me assure you now, you missed a bit.

Because when that scalding hot steam hits that particular spot on the carpet all of a sudden your home will smell like a brewery.

And before you go running off to buy some Shake n Vac, it won't work. Even doing the wee dance won't help either.

On Sunday (shattered and a bit light headed) I decided to take it easy. Sort through a few things, filing, post, tidy up my crafty bits and make sure everything could be easily found. At the bottom of one of my tuff crates I came across a few things I'd started with xmas in mind but hadn't got round to finishing. A couple of knitted things and it was really only the making up that needed doing so I settled myself down to those and once they were finished I was able to wrap and label them using one of Lupin's wrapping paper tutes:)

I hauled out the huge tuff crate which is stashed on top of my wardrobe in the bedroom and went through it, checking the gifts off the list I keep inside and do you know what. Apart from Chloe and the husband (Bob, might as well get that one out of the way while I'm at it) I'm all done.

Sweet or what? I'll admit now that I'm in the middle of a macrame scarflette for my aunt which wasn't on the original list but which she's asked for and I'm planning a couple of pieces of macrame jewellery for stocking fillers as such but apart from that all of my presents for people outside the house are finished. Not only finished but they wrapped and labeled and its only the middle of August.

Now I'll just get myself comfy here against this rather tall concrete wall, pop the blindfold on, light a cigarette, burn tip of nose, lift blindfold slightly, light cigarette and wait for the firing squad.

.....

.....

.....

You done!

Good!

Cause so am I. Neener, neener, neener.

How to get Murphy on your side

(without him even knowing it)

A little more than five years ago now I was a bit miffed. Well quite a lot miffed actually.

The husband and I had been trying (unsuccessfully) to get pregnant for just over a year.

Just over a year in earth time, but not GP time. You see had I been an average woman, in that particular calender year I would have tried and failed to get pregnant 13 times. But I'm not an average woman, quite a bit below (or above, never really figured that one out) average so in that particular calender year I tried and failed to get pregnant a mere 10 times.

Silly me.

Now, not being particularly well known for my patience, I hatched a cunning plan to make Murphy's Law work for me.

I sat myself down and thought about it. What are the things a pregnant woman shouldn't do?

Well they're not supposed to fly or at least not before 12 weeks anyway. Ok, so I'll book a holiday, but where to?

Well, pregnant women aren't supposed to drink alcohol either or not copious amounts of it anyway.

They shouldn't really carry heavy things either, so that would be mammoth shopping sprees out too.

They should eat a healthy and balance diet, so nine months worth of burgers smothered in blue cheese would be off the menu.

A four hour horse ride into, oh I don't know say the bottom of the Grand Canyon would probably not be the best idea in the world for a pregnant woman.

So......

Vegas then!

I settled myself down in front of the laptop, bank card at the ready and booked a one week trip to Vegas which was due to fly out in exactly 12 weeks. I wrote down the addresses for completely inappropriate places like Margaritaville and advance booked helicopter flights over the strip.

Twelve weeks later I stepped on a ten hour flight, ten weeks pregnant.

Murphy me old son, you done yourself proud!!!

Sure, it was a bit of a gamble. I could have blown £1100 on a holiday and had nothing to show for it but a few holiday snaps.....

But....




I think it was £1100 well spent, don't you?

Tallships Belfast 2009 - Possibly Part 1

Yes, you heard me right, possibly part one. You see there were two cameras there on Thursday and I've yet to get my hands on the other one. The other one being the one which contains all of the photos of Toots.

Actually, do you know what, I can't be bothered with all that anymore. She hasn't let me call her Toots in months and its getting difficult to remember to call her that here. The other camera contains all the photos of Chloe. As far as she's concerned she's a big girl now and the baby names have got to go. So there you go.

Anyway, where was I....

Yes, well, we arrived in Belfast at 8.40am (much too early) so we had a lovely breakfast (rice krispie squares, brownies and coffee) at Cafe Italia in Hill Street. Obviously Chloe had milk and not coffee, but she really enjoyed the coffee shop because it meant she was able to wave at the bin men. It's become a little ritual for her to stand at the window and wave and smile at the bin men on a Thursday morning and they always smile and wave back. A lovelier bunch of blokes you're unlikely to meet.

After breakfast we walked slowly over to the Odyssey and were lucky enough to be one of the few people already there, meaning that I was able to get nice clean photos of the ships before the crowds started to arrive. Because honestly once the crowds did start to pile in, as I've mentioned before I'm a wee shortarse so the chances of a good photo later in the day went complete out the window.




Now I say nice clean shots with nobody getting in the way, but when I went back and checked the photos later I realised one managed to sneak in. The funny thing is I didn't even notice this guy when I took the photo! I still like it though, one of my favourites if I'm honest.




Chloe's favourite ship was the Bounty. Obviously! Honestly, that child's seen the Spongebob Movie too many times. As far as she was concerned The Bounty just looked like a pirate ship and she was perfectly happy with that. Trust me, there was little point in trying to explain otherwise to her. Pirate Ship, full stop.





Mine was the Mircea. I mean just look at it. It's such a beautiful boat to see. Unfortunately, Chloe was exhausted (as was I) before we managed to make it far enough past the Port of Belfast to see if the Mircea was open to visitors and when we arrived on the dock side we couldn't even see the Bounty because of the crowds around it. Maybe if I'd persevered and given it a bit of the "Mummy Shoulder" we could have made our way through the queues. I must be going soft in my old age.




The obligatory photo of Harland and Wolff or Samson and Goliath if you prefer. It has to be done really, they're what Belfast is best known for.




And, of course I couldn't leave without taking a quick photo of the Human Statue. This guy's fantastic, Chloe almost ran for the hills when she'd been staring at him for a few minute, asking why a statue would have sunglasses, and he bent down and put his hand out for her. You've never seen a child move so fast.




All in told we had a great day. A long, very exhausting day where I spent a fair amount of time emptying the contents of Belfast Harbour out of my silly little shoes, but a great one nonetheless.

We had brioche and candied fruits. I now have a fridge well and truly stocked with salami, cured hams and cheeses.

And I had my paella followed by a maple syrup crepe because nom nom nom.

And, if only because this wouldn't be a true SeetheWoods post without me having a gripe about something.....

Belfast City Council spent seven years and roughly £3 million organising the events surrounding the Tall Ships and just in case anyone from Belfast City Council happens to read this post, I have a little question. Would it really have killed you to have lit a citronella candle or two, because ... wasps ... EVERYWHERE?

We may have to pick Chloe up from her Nana's early tomorrow and head over to Crawfordsburn or somewhere like that to see if we can see them leaving the harbour.

Belfast Tallships (Condensed)

Well I am officially shattered, with a capital SHATTERED. A capital S all on its lonesome just doesn't cover this level of shatteredness(?).

So I will leave you with a couple of photographs from our dizzy day and the promise of a full post tomorrow.




Now I think I may just curl up in front of the tv for an hour and I may even fall asleep there.

Nighty night all.

I need your help

Two weeks from today my little girl will start school.


I mean look at her, she's such a tiny little thing. The thing is though, she just can't wait to get to school. She talks of nothing else, every day "Am I going to school today mummy?". The same question every single morning.

We already have her uniform.


And her shoes...



With the little kitties on the outside of the shoes requested by the school so that she can tell easily which shoe goes with which foot. Well hey didn't have to be kitties, but you get the idea.

So now my little girl has a drawer in her room filled with green polo shirts, royal blue jumpers, grey trousers, skirts and pinafores, not to mention tiny little white socks which amazing reach all the way past her knees, grey tights, new pants and vests and little white airtex t-shirts for PE and toffee soled plimsoles so they don't leave marks on the games hall floor. We have her school bag and her PE bag and I'm in the middle of labeling everything with her name.

We don't' have shorts for PE yet, but it's still quite strange looking into that drawer.

This is my first year doing the school supplies thing, but tell me this. Is it perfectly normally to get annoyed over silly little things when you're trying to get every bought and organised.

Case in point, regarding the PE shorts. I've had a look in a few shops now and I'm just not coming across anything suitable. Just to see if I could get lucky and find a pair I went in to Tesco yesterday. I walked along the aisles of clothes. Passing by the boys clothes I noticed perfect little shorts for a boy's PE kit, nice little navy ones with pale blue stripes up each side and the reverse, pale blue with navy stripes, just the right length and with a bit of room in them for running.

Then I walked around to the girl's side and saw the offerings. One lonely design, a pack of two pairs of shorts. And I mean shorts. One pair white, the other baby pink and they actually had that cutaway scallop at the side which took the sides of the shorts even closer to the child's hips, if such a thing is even possible.

I took one look at them and all I could here in my head was "Hi, Welcome to Hooters. My name is Candi and I'll be your waitress." No daughter of mine will ever be seen dead wearing shorts like that!

Speaking of which, I think my friends and I were the only ones to go to Hooters when it opened in Belfast. From memory they were read the riot act on false advertising and closed shortly thereafter:)

Anyway, back to the point. Is it silly to get annoyed about the fact that shops seem perfectly capable of providing suitable shorts for boys but at the same time they thing that I should be willing to dress my daughter like a cheap slapper? I think not!

So we're nearly ready, bar the shorts.

Toots can't wait and the husband is so proud of her. I mean really proud, you should see the look he gets in his eyes and the little secret smile on his face when she talks about school. Toots just doesn't have any fear about school whatsoever and she looks so grown up now. She's just ready to go and the husband is really happy to see her like that. Ready to take on the world!

I think when we brought her out of daycare way back at the start of the year we were a bit worried that she would get so used to being at home with me by this time that the very thought of school would freak her out a bit, but that just hasn't been the case. I love her so much and I'm so proud of her myself.

Now, the title of this post suggests that I need your help and here's where you come in.

You see everyone thinks this is fantastic, my mum, dad, brother, the husband and I do too. But there's still this tiny little part of me. And I do mean a tiny, little insignificant part of me that needs to freeeeeaaaaak out.

And I mean bouncing off the walls fah-reak-ing out and someone has to come along for the ride.

She's just so.....small!

Seriously, I remember bringing her home from the hospital like a week and a half ago and she would lie with her little face buried in the side of my neck and her legs curled up so that her feet only reached as far as my chest and I would sit with her like that for hours, rubbing my thumbs along the soles of her feet while she slept and rolling her little toes back and forward between my thumb and forefinger while she smiled up at me.

And now I'm supposed to just send her off to school in two weeks when she'll be, what does that work out at, like three and a half weeks old. Really?

I pretty sure I'm entitled to have a mini panic attack of sorts.

So who's in?

Menu Plan and Big Boats

This will be a short little menu plan this week. I'm only planning as far ahead as Wednesday at the minute because I know if I plan any further than that, the plans will just end up being changed.

Monday

Baked trout with Parmesan and whole baked tomatoes with crusty bread and a green salad. I still have a freezer full of fish and my brother has already started to add to my freezer stash.

Tuesday

I roasted a chicken on Sunday afternoon so I'll use the leftovers for fajitas tonight. We have Toot's school readiness assessment this afternoon so I don't want to have to do too much on Tuesday afternoon. I can always use any salad from yesterday too.

Wednesday

Toots will be at Nana's house so I'm using the last of the venison for the husband and I'm actually not entirely sure what I'll have to be honest. I haven't went all out eggy for a while so I may have an omelet.

And that will have to do for the menu plan this week. We'll be going to Belfast for the Tall Ships Atlantic Challenge on Thursday and I've only recently realised that not only will there be the ships (obviously) and a Guinness World Record attempt to have the largest gathering of people dressed as pirates at Queen's Quay on Saturday but there will also be not one, not even two, but THREE continental markets in Belfast.

I know what I'm like and I'll go completely overboard buying brats and cured hams and who knows what else, so I'll just hold off planning any more meals until I see what ends up in my fridge come Thursday afternoon.

I'll post some photos later in the week of all the lovely grub, oh and the ships too (obviously).

I wonder if I'll spot a certain someone, halfway up a ship's mast ready to nail the best photo of the day:)

I wonder indeed!

I'm really looking forward to a good day out now. Bring on the Hog Roast!

How to Create Simple Banners for Folksy

I've been making a lot of banners for some really lovely shops over on Folksy lately so I thought it was maybe time for a little tutorial.

Banners are really simple to create and honestly there just isn't any reason at all not to have a go at them. Bear in mind that while this tutorial relates to Folksy Banners the same principles apply to Etsy, Coriandr, Firefox and anywhere else you might need a banner or header.

I used photoshop to create my banners just because I happen to have it but you can get exactly the same results using one of the many excellent free photo editing software on offer online such as paint.net, gimp and to a certain extent picnik on Flickr. Its just matter of sitting down and playing around with it until you feel confident. Don't worry you won't break it.

If you're a complete photo editing virgin, this tutorial should help to guide you through a simple banner using some very simple techniques and once you have those nailed you can easily progress on to much more complicated things.

Now ever since I developed a bit of an addiction for digital scrapbooking I've became a little bit photo hungry.

I take pictures of absolutely everything I think looks interesting, bits of paper, scraps of fabric, beads, buttons, bits of string, you name I have photos of it. This means that I have quite a large stash of to dip into, if you don't I'm willing to bet that you have things like these lying around your home that you can grab and take a few photos of before playing around with them using your software.

What you always, ALWAYS want to bear in mind is that you can't just go around pilfering from other sites, and you can't just take it upon yourself to use the multitude of free digital scrapbooking supplies to be found online. Someone put a lot of time and effort into creating those and then very kindly gave them away for free, all they ask is that they are kept for personal use only. At the end of the day stealing is stealing is stealing, you wouldn't like it if someone made use of one of your designs so for your own peace of mind and a clear conscience just don't do it.

Don't be that person!

NOBODY like that person!

Right now that, that is out of the way, down to the tutorial.

Start off by establishing what size your banner needs to be, in Folksy's case that would be 920 x 100 pixels. Open a blank document, plain white at that size.


This nice sage(ish) green sheet of paper started out as a photograph of bog standard brown wrapping paper, change the hue, brightness, fiddle with the contrast and voila.


Now this photo is huge and obviously we only need a little bit of it for the banner, so have a quick look at what you have created and pick a bit you particularly like the look of. Then using the crop tool, crop the photo to roughly the size you need for your banner, like I have done above. I've also highlighted the little crop tool and it will look similar to this regardless of the software you happen to be using.


Next copy the cropped photograph. In photoshop press Ctr A to select the entire photo and then Ctr C to copy it. Then paste it over the top of the plain white banner you opened earlier. You'll see from mine above, that my cropped image was a little big. It doesn't really matter and if anything it means that you have a little bit of wiggle room to move the image about over the top of the white banner until you like what you see.


Next you want to add a bit of interest. Not too much though, the point of your shop banner is that it should be eye catching enough to slow browsers down for a second or two but not have so much going on that it casts a shadow over your shop contents.

Above is a photograph of a little leaf shaped sequin which came in a bumper craft activity pack and belongs to Toots. Now as the photo stands at the minute its a bit useless because you don't want all that background in your banner.

All you need to do is use the quick selection tool. Its over there on the left hand side and looks like a stick with a dash line circle at the end. Select that tool and rather than trying to select the item that you want in the photo, its sometimes a lot easier to select the background. This is one of those times because the leaf contrasts pretty well with the background. Just use the tool to move around the background, making sure not to go over the part of the photo you actually want in the end

Once you've selected the background, you'll be able to see a little flashing dotted line around the entire outside of the photo and also around the item that you want. Now you just need to click on "Select" in the tool bar at the top of the screen and then click on "Inverse". Now you're left with nothing but the leaf selected. Now just press Ctr C to copy the leaf and go back to you banner image.



Press Ctr V to paste the leaf onto you banner. Now it looks a little bit flat at the minute, doesn't it.



On the right hand side of your screen you'll see a box titled "effects". Play around with them, see which ones take your fancy. The one I used for the leaf is "soft edge". It looks like a box with a shadow around the bottom and right hand sides. Making sure that the leaf is selected (just click it) click on the effect which takes your fancy and click "apply", try a few if you don't like the effect just click Ctr Z to undo it and try another one.


Now we'll just pop that little leaf over to the far side and paste in another one. Why have one leaf when you can have two after all. Apply the same effect to the second leaf. I turned this leaf around a little because I wanted it to overlap the first. Just float your arrow over the little circle blow the leaf and move your cursor to one side or the other to rotate it in that direction.



And then pop it over to the side as well, fiddle the leaves around a bit until you like the look of them. Then simply select the Horizontal Type Tool and type in the name of your shop (Do Not buy water features from this guy, s'all I'm saying). Play around with the size, colour and font until your happy.



Once you're completely happy with the layout of your new banner click on "layer" in the menu bar at the top of the screen and select "merge visible" which turns all those little overlapping images into one single image for you to use. The just save the image as jpeg somewhere on your computer and upload your brand spankingly new banner.

Go nuts, make dozens, change them to reflect the seasons or your mood, but above all else have fun with it.

And once you get the hang of that, you're more than ready to start fiddling around with all the other features your software package has to offer.

And don't forget to subscribe, you wouldn't want to miss anything! It's very easy to do, trust me.

I'm officially out of ways to entrertain Toots

I could also have called this post "Roll on School Term" but I'll save that for when it gets a lot worse.

But, I hear you ask,

How much worse can it possibly get in you house when you've already let the the child run around (yes out in the garden too) with a pair of purple flowery knickers on her head pretending to be spiderman?




I guess we'll just have to wait and see, won't we!

Menu Plan 3/8 to 9/8

Water, water everywhere, so lets all have a drink! Yep, it's chucking it down in buckets again this week.

Even so, I received a nice surprise this week in the form of an email from Emma Williams, the Managing Editor of the Schmap Guide telling me that one of my photographs from our trip to Belfast Zoo had been chosen for the Top Attractions section.

This one in fact.


If you're not familiar with Schmap you check it out using the link below. Simply put, it's an online map system when you can also run on your phone amongst other things, but instead of a boring bog standard map, in Schmap all of the sites, attractions and places of interest including hotels, restaurants and even events which have been reviewed and also include photographs taken by your average Joe, or Josephine in my case because face it, a professional photographer can make anywhere look like somewhere you'd like to visit. Schmap Guides are available for over 200 worldwide destinations, not just Belfast so why not check out a few local to you.

Anyway, food!

I'm keeping relatively simple this week, although I found out after last week that I do need a basic menu at the very least to keep hold of my sanity.

Monday

I'll make a big pot of beef stew. The poor husband was on call all weekend and he barely set foot in the house until well after midnight both nights, plus he's off sorting out cameras today. Cameras which are outside and I've already mentioned that its pouring outside. He's exhausted already and I fully expect him to arrive home soaked through so I'll light the fire for him later too.

Tuesday

Chicken, possibly fajitas or just plain wraps with all the bits and pieces.

Wednesday

Curry tonight. Toots will be at Nana's house for dinner so I'll be able to make the husband a hot curry for a change.

Thursday

Baked cod with potatoes and vegetables.

Friday

Pizza night.

Saturday

Burgers and onion rings.

Sunday

Roast chicken, with all the usual bits and pieces.

Baking

Strawberry Pavlova. Its in the oven already, the husband will need a bit of Summer by the time he arrives home and that amount of sugar might go some way towards keeping him on his feet.

Madeira cake, I feel like having some nice plain cake around the house for snacking.

Coffee cake. We'll be making coffee cake cupcakes today too. Coffee cake is Toots' absolutely favourite cake and the first thing she asks for every time and seeing as we won't be able to get too far from the house today I told her she could make some.

Actually I should probably go because she's chomping at the bit for that cake.

That Big Conference Thingy in Chicago

Wow. I mean wow, OMG, WFT and all those other silly little three letter texty comments designed to replace the English language, there is on hell of a lot of complaining going on around the Blogosphere lately. Don't get me wrong, a lot of people do seem to have some genuinely nice things to say about BlogHer, generally about the people they met there but from what I can gather 1400 people attended this year but based on the number of them who left disappointed for some reason or another it'll be a much smaller gathering next year.

Wait, you're telling me I'm not correct in assuming that. You're telling me that by hook or by crook all of the people who attended this year will do their level best to attend next year again and not only that but just as many others will be clamouring for planes and tickets also.

Hmm, can't have been that bad then, can it?

Now I fully welcome the obvious criticism that I wasn't in fact there. I didn't see it. I didn't go. I didn't get to experience the full unrated version. Well no, I didn't because I live in Northern Ireland and chances are the next time I pack a bag and prepare to jump on an eight our flight to the States you can bet I'm on my way to Disney and you can bet I have my family right there with me.

The way I see it (and please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong here) BlogHer is a conference. For women. But men go too. And it's about Blogging. Blogging. That huge great beast we're all trying to ride and tame. Trying to bend and mould it into something which suits each of us as individuals.

It's not a conference for writers, because that would be a writer's conference.

It's not a conference for mothers or fathers, because that would be a parenting conference.

It's not a conference about PR and marketing, because those would be PR and marketing conferences.

It's a conference about blogging which covers all of those things and much more besides, whether you like it or not.

But if you really can't stand it or think that none of the drivel discussed applies to you or that you are so far above and beyond all of this (with a nonchalant sweep of the arm for effect) then why did you bother going or why indeed have you already blocked off those dates in your calender for next year. It certainly can't be for the free stuff or the swag because you complained about that too.

It has all left me rather confused to be quite honest and one question keeps floating to the front of my mind;

When exactly did blogging become such a teeny little 'bloggy in my pocket' mini beast that you think there should only be room on the back for you and your kind of people?

Open your eyes, wake up and smell the coffee, ditch the blinkers or whatever. Blogging is huge and lots of people have their own individual reasons why they do it. Different reasons that motivate them. Different interests. Different styles.

I don't suppose there's any chance you could maybe be a little more accommodating and open minded next year and bear in mind that not everyone does this for the same reasons you do.

I guess you really can't please all of the people all of the time but certainly from what I can tell the organisers of BlogHer put a lot of time and effort into trying to ensure that a lot of the people are pleased at least some of the time. And honestly what more do you expect of them when we're talking about 1400 people? Did you really expect there to be 1400 guest speaker each at their own little table with a single solitary chair facing them just for you, ready, willing and waiting to answer all of your questions and have a little chat about whatever you like to talk about.

But then I guess that wouldn't have worked either considering so many attend for the community.

Hmm, I'll admit it I'm completely stumped. I certainly couldn't organise it, or make it better, or keep everyone happy all the time.

But by all means if you think that you could, please be my guest and we'll all wait here with bated breath, cash in hand ready to buy to tickets and book flights, dates blocked off in our calenders and next year blog posts will fill the blogosphere to its virtual rafters singing your praises and extolling the virtues of BlogForEveryone or BlogForMe or whatever you call it.

Well, maybe!

Typical

And we were really looking forward to the Creative Peninsula event in Conway Square tomorrow too.

Its absolutely glorious outside today, the sun is shining, the grass is drying out and the temperature is perfect. However, I've just checked the forecast for tomorrow and it's to rain. All. Day. Long.

Toots is going stir crazy at the minute being couped up around the house. Don't get me wrong, even if the weather's a bit miserable we still play in the garden or go for a walk reasonably close to home, because there's little more fun to be had than having to carry a drenched four year old more than a mile home in the pouring rain. I try to keep her as busy and occupied as I can while we're at home but the poor child just needs to stretch her legs, to get outside and run like the clappers.

I was kind of banking on tomorrow to pick her up a bit. Admittedly, it isn't going to be a hopping, skipping, jumping kind of day but she'll be able to take part in loads of arts and crafts like painting and pottery to name a couple of things. I'm not hugely concerned about rain to be honestly as I can always put her wellies and raincoat on and just bring an empty bag to lug around the wets while we're in the tents, but if the wind picks up then I'm worries they may have to cancel the event.

Roll on school term is all I can say. At least then Toots will have something everyday to enjoy and she'll be back in the company of other kids on a daily basis which I know for a fact she has missed terribly since leaving daycare. I just hope the teachers can keep up with her.

In the meantime, I'll organise a bag tonight with a spare empty one tucked in and our raincoats and just hope for the best tomorrow because come hell or high water, I need to get this child away from the house for more than an hour.

Because.....

I'm properly busy and therefore unable (too lazy) to properly write a proper post, I went ahead and mad men-ed myself.


And also because I wish I could be standing in a bar, cocktail in hand, chilling out.

Her bra and knickers even match and generally I'm much too busy (again, lazy) to bother with such unnecessary frivolities.

Sure a girl can wish!

Anyone have a spare eight hours lying around I can borrow?

Menu Plan

I'm actually not going to bother with a menu plan this week. The weather is a bit all over the place and last week's plan was bumped mostly for salads and nibbly food so I think I'll just do the same again this week.

There's plenty in there as I went on Wednesday and did a big grocery shop so we still have plenty of salad supplies and loads of fresh veggies in the fridge. Although, that's perhaps half of the problem. It easier to get by without a plan of any kind when there's a ton of food in the house.

I also have some minced steak in the fridge so I'll fit in pasta or something similar this week or burgers, as I say I haven't really decided yet.

Its been quite muggy here because of the rain but the temperature has climbed again the last couple of days so I may cook in the crockpot more often than not this week.

I'll hopefully feel more like planning proper meals again next week.

To make up for the lack of foody loveliness I'm having a giveaway over on See the Woods Designs. Feel free to pop over and throw your name into the hat.

Norn Ironisms

You might remember I did this while ago.

We were having a natter in one of the threads over on Folksy a while ago about the things we remember specific to the areas we live in and it reminded me of a few isms that those not from NI may never have heard (or may never have any use for).

But sure if only for the craic, here we go;

Yer whats itchy

Can you repeat that please, to be used when you've missed or misheard what the other person was saying.

He cudn't bate snow aff a rope

(He couldn't beat snow off a rope) Implying that he's weak or not much of a fighter.

Like two men and a wee lad

Actually I haven't a clue. I remember my grandad saying it, usually about anyone running i.e "there they go, like two men and a wee lad".

Aye, yer a big man in yer wee coat

Loudmouth, simple as.

He'd steal the eyes out of yer head and come back for yer eyebrows when his own didn't match

A chancer, we would also say he had a brass neck on him.

A face like a Lurgan spade

Used to refer to someone who looks sad. We might also say "her bake is tripping her".

Mustard

As in He's mustard, meaning he's a bit of a tear away or a bit of a handful to manage.

And there's more, but I'm pretty sure that's enough for now!

When I really should have done nothing but eat brownies all day...

Toots and I spent three hours, three whole hours, cleaning and tidying the wreckage that was once our garden today.

We're a bit famous in the UK for talking a lot about the weather, but there's a very simple and logical reason for that.

It's because we get so much of the stuff.

There has been a lot of flooding in Northern Ireland the last couple of days, now not the Westlink (spectacular demonstration of DOE workmanship flooding), but flooding nonetheless.

I had to leg it out into ankle deep water in my little back garden yesterday morning to save the cat.

The poor cat who was more than a little confused by my attempts to grab her and get her into the house and out of the rapidly rising water. She scratched, spat and bit before finally scurrying past me and straight up to her armpits in the swimming pool that was now my patio.

And even though I'm convinced that by that point she must have realised that my trying to get hold of her were in her best interests in the first place, she still managed to give me a dirty look, like it was all my fault she now resembled a drowned rat.

We dried off and stood at the kitchen counter with hot coffee watching the torrent of water pour down the steps in my garden, resigned to the fact that there was absolutely nothing we could do but watch and wonder why we'd bothered paying a guy to install a second drain in the back garden (which clearly wasn't helping at all) when we first moved into the house and woke one morning to watch a full sized wheelie bin float past the kitchen window.

And I'm not sure I'll ever forget the sight of my husband wrapping a freshly laundered fluffy bath sheet around the cat, scratching her under the chin and asking if she was ok, while I stood there soaked to the bones, with actual leaves (I kid you not) stuck to my shins, dripping on to the door mat without so much as a thank you to be heard, wondering;

1. Why I'd even bothered to put shoes on before running out the back door, and;
   
   
2. Why, when there was a perfectly good pair of riggers lying beside said back door, I'd chosen my cute new pumps.

"Ah, sure don't mind me, it's more hygienic to drip dry anyhow, and your welcome BTW!"

So today we dealt with the aftermath.

We unblocked the drains, scooping out entire plants never mind just leaves, we shovelled large quantities of mud and gak off the stone path at the front of the house, we lifted entire land masses out of the gutters, poked holes in the lawn to allow the water to drain away and brushed in sand and finally swept up the debris lying all over the place.

Finally, Toots and I were finished. We got a shower, jumped into to some warm clothes and settled down on the sofa with a hot cup of tea just in time to watch the heaven's open!

Menu Plan 20/7 to 26/7

I haven't thought this through to be honest due to a busy weekend and an even busier Monday.

Still, I've had a quick rustle through the fridge and freezer and cobbled together a quick and easy plan which should see me through what looks to be a busy week.

Monday

We had the stew I made last night because the husband is on call, although for once he arrived home early and (touch wood) hasn't been called out yet.

Tuesday

Pizza, its easy to throw together in a couple of minutes, plus I'm not sure I'll have he energy for much more than that. I have the pizza bases in the freezer and all the other bits and bobs in the fridge.

Wednesday

Sandwiches. I'll see time wise but I'll either bake or buy some sub rolls, stick a chicken in the oven and then there'll be nice warm chicken and salad for fillings. There's also some baked ham in the fridge as well as good strong cheddar and I'm never without pickles in this house so everyone should go to bed stuffed.

Thursday

Stirfry. My wee garden hasn't faired too well this year but we do have a small amount of fresh veggies to use. I'll slice those finely, add chicken, noodles, sauce and call it dinner.

Friday

Steamed fish, baby potatoes and corn on the cob. I can top the fish with red or green pesto to help it along a bit flavour wise and then just throw the heap into my steamer and walk away.

Saturday

I haven't got the foggiest notion. Leftovers probably, failing that burgers from the freezer.

Sunday

Baked pork chops, roast potatoes and veg and I'll probably just cook everything in the oven seeing as its on.

Baking

I have brownies which means that there is something for nibbling on and something to put in the husband's lunchbox. He's also been asking for custard tarts but I'm not entirely sure I'll get to those during the week although I may be able to manage it at the weekend.

I quite fancy some bakewell tarts myself, they're nice and light and there's a lot less work involved compared to the custards.

A Dying Art

Its seems lately that politeness, common decency and civility are now a thing of the past, a long forgotten memory of how things used to be.

Did people stop teaching these simple traits or do they just not have the time any more?

I seem to be a minority, a member of a dying race. A member of a once prolific and now dwindling group referred to as the eternally polite.

When did the niceties pass away. I don't really recall, although I'm sorry they did. And there I go again, apologising. Its just the way I was brought up I suppose.

I expect a please, a thank you, a simple excuse me and more often than not I'm disappointed when they aren't forthcoming.

Perhaps its as simple as reminding the masses. Perhaps we can once again repopulate the earth with the eternally polite.

After all, such a simple thing as a smile or a thank you is completely free. There really isn't any reason at all to begrudge someone the offer of a kind word when it costs you nothing more than the mere seconds it takes to say them.

I'm not necessarily saying that we should agree with everything for fear of upsetting someone, by all means voice your opinion, but bear in mind that when arguing a point the second you call into question the other person's beliefs or opinions, religious or political, their ability to or methods of raising their own children, the way they look, dress or speak you have lost the argument. To lower yourself to that level is to fail.

Would it really take a second of your time to acknowledge the fact that you had bumped or jostled someone in the street rather than glare at them as though it was their fault because you're perfectly entitled to be there with 17 shopping bags slung across one arm and a mobile phone grasped in the other.

Rather than stand there tapping you foot and tutting behind the elderly person ahead of you in the queue who may perhaps be having trouble gathering their purchases together and may for all you care be getting more flustered by the second because of the impatience of the incredibly busy and obviously very important person tapping away like old typewriter behind them, why not offer to help. Go on, give it a go. Trust me we're talking about a win win situation here.

And if, after reading this, you find that you still can't manage to take the time and squeak out that little, completely free, takes merely a second thank you, you could also refer to the Crash Training Course laid out below.

ALWAYS ASSUME THE WORST

Assume that the barrista, that you've just snapped at to hurry up because you're running late as it is when you know fine rightly that you could have skipped the coffee altogether and went straight to your meeting without being late, will use the day old milk that's been left on the counter all night in your skinny latte.

Assume that the waitress, you've just balled out in the middle of the restaurant for putting onions in your salad even though you know fine rightly that the 6ft 2in chef that someone like you would cross the road to avoid on a dark night put them there, will dress your salad for you, if you get me.

report on how little Billy got on today in class due to the fact that budget cuts means they now have to wrangle 38 kids, none of which know how to use the bathroom or tie their own shoes unsupervised, might right your kid off, because if Billy wasn't asked to contribute to anything today then those full and Assume that the teacher that you've complained about six times this year alone to the principle because they can't spare 20 minutes at the end of every single day to give you a full and in depthin depth reports you crave daily become a much shorter message to pass on.

To sum up, being impolite, short with people and just generally ignorant will always backfire on you.

And if you still can't find it in your heart to be nice, even just to try and be nice then try this;

ASSUME THAT EVERYBODY EXCEPT YOU IS PACKING!!!

Wonderhubs, Woodturning and Witchy Wonderfuls

I mentioned earlier in the week that the husband had been out in the garage whittling away on something with the wood lathe.

I let Toots watch Harry Potter a couple of weeks ago when the weather was particularly nasty one days and she's been addicted ever since. Talking about it, trying to learn the spells, pretending she's a witch. She just loves it.

So anyway, this is what Wonderhubs was up to in the garage...




Yep, he made a wand of her very own.




It's not bad at all for a first attempt, obviously the wands in the movie are a fair bit more tapered than this one but he figured that a sharp, pointed stick in the hands of a four year old might end in tears.



He used some wood that he had handy in the garage, but plans to buy something specific for his next attempt at woodturning. The wood he used was as old as dirt to be honest and he knows himself that he should have used something much greener for his first few attempts but still it turned out to be good practice and now he understands the experts suggest using green wood as a beginner.

He's itching to have another go and Toots is very happy with her new magic wand.

Now will someone kindly explain to her that her that waving her wand and yelling hocus pocus does not guarantee that mummy will magically produce chocolate.

Random things come in threes too

The theme for this week's McLinky Blog Hop is Three things you didn't know about me. Now I've already done the "100 things about me" meme which means now I have to come up with three more.

Hmmm

Alrighty then, three it is;

1. I hate other people's "stuff". I can happily deal with my own things lying around the house and in fact I barely even notice them, but OPS will drive me slowly to the nut house.
   
   
2. However, I do suffer from OPT. I refer of course to Other People's Toast. It's physically impossible for me to see someone eating toast, or worse still cheese on toast, without immediately having to eat it on them. Now just so we're completely clear, going and making my own toast would not satisfy the craving, because something about the other person's toast makes it so much nicer than anything I could make myself.
   
   
3. And because I can't actually remember every one of the 100 things I've already told you, I'm just going to go ahead and throw out another three off the top of my head. One of them is bound to be new, right?
   
   
   • I skipped the first month of fourth year in secondary school. I even got brave and went to the cafeteria on the school grounds once or twice for lunch.
     
     
   • Even though I bake as much of my own bread as possible I really, really love the plastic white shop bought bread. Especially when it is very soft and I use it to make jam sandwiches and it sticks to the roof of my mouth.
     
     
   • When I went to Makro at the weekend apart from the bits and pieces I already blogged about I also bought a 3kg sweet shop jar of toffee crumble. Its this weird looking combination of chocolate, caramel and biscuit all smooshed together into little nuggets. These three ingredients sound absolutely fine until you bear in mind that they're usually used in toffee crumble to recycle factory leftovers so the end product rarely tastes the same. For instance this time the little nuggets are speckled with a rainbow of colours meaning that they contain the crushed of remains of what I assume was either smarties or m&ms shells. The worst part about all of this is that everyone else in the house can't stand the stuff so I fully intend to eat the entire jar myself.