Nerd Alert

I'm paying lip service to the old menu plan this week. The temperature is to reach 29C by Wednesday so this week I will be mostly eating salads. Apart from tonight when we had burgers and onions rings followed by big slices of gingerbread with lemon icing. I'll post the recipe for that later in the week (the cake not the burgers).

Right, that's that out of the way.

I'm feeling very good about myself today because I had a very productive weekend. Do you ever get like that, if you take it easy over the weekend and relax you end up a bit depressed and feeling like you wasted all that time come Monday but if you manage to get a couple of things done and dusted you feel great about yourself? Maybe that's just me.

I checked the weather during the week and on seeing that it was to rain cats and dogs over the weekend I rented a big heavy duty steam cleaner for Saturday to tackle my carpets (happy in the knowledge that Chloe no longer spills).

On Saturday morning the weather was, as predicted, rubbish so the husband popped out and collected the steam cleaner. The plan was to set to work as soon as my mum collected Chloe in the afternoon. It rained all morning and the wind blew a gale and then my mum arrived and the clouds parted and the sun shone and the birdies sang their little hearts out. Murphy's out to kick my ass for getting one over on him (Bring. It. On).

So I spent my Saturday afternoon in the sweltering heat, cleaning carpets and sweating like a mad woman. Do you ever remember that advert years ago for women's antiperspirant "They say women don't sweat, they glow. Well I glow buckets"? Yep, that was me on Saturday. It wasn't a pretty sight, clothes glued to my back, hair plastered to my forehead. Meanwhile, Murphy's wet himself laughing, he's on the floor by this stage tears streaming down his face, fists pounding the floor with the hilarity of it all. Don't worry I clipped him round the back of the head with the cleaner just to remind who's boss round here.

I lost roughly a stone that afternoon, but later found it again at the bottom of a tube of Pringles. Balance restored.

Still I sit here now surround by lovely clean carpets. The windows have been open full all weekend and the smell has all but disappeared. Have you ever cleaned your carpets with an industrial steamer because let me tell you, the smell is atrocious.

They smelt perfectly fine before I started, but if anyone has ever knocked over a pint in your living room and you spent a good ten minutes and countless towels making sure you mopped up every last drop, you may have even got down on your knees with that silly Scrubber carpet cleaner thingy the husband thought would be a good idea let me assure you now, you missed a bit.

Because when that scalding hot steam hits that particular spot on the carpet all of a sudden your home will smell like a brewery.

And before you go running off to buy some Shake n Vac, it won't work. Even doing the wee dance won't help either.

On Sunday (shattered and a bit light headed) I decided to take it easy. Sort through a few things, filing, post, tidy up my crafty bits and make sure everything could be easily found. At the bottom of one of my tuff crates I came across a few things I'd started with xmas in mind but hadn't got round to finishing. A couple of knitted things and it was really only the making up that needed doing so I settled myself down to those and once they were finished I was able to wrap and label them using one of Lupin's wrapping paper tutes:)

I hauled out the huge tuff crate which is stashed on top of my wardrobe in the bedroom and went through it, checking the gifts off the list I keep inside and do you know what. Apart from Chloe and the husband (Bob, might as well get that one out of the way while I'm at it) I'm all done.

Sweet or what? I'll admit now that I'm in the middle of a macrame scarflette for my aunt which wasn't on the original list but which she's asked for and I'm planning a couple of pieces of macrame jewellery for stocking fillers as such but apart from that all of my presents for people outside the house are finished. Not only finished but they wrapped and labeled and its only the middle of August.

Now I'll just get myself comfy here against this rather tall concrete wall, pop the blindfold on, light a cigarette, burn tip of nose, lift blindfold slightly, light cigarette and wait for the firing squad.

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You done!

Good!

Cause so am I. Neener, neener, neener.