I wish I'd seen more of the world

This isn't a problem for me.

If I popped my clogs tomorrow I'd be very happy that I had seen as much as I possibly could on my budget.

I travelled a fair bit when I was younger and before I had Toots. I wasn't single, but I usually travelled alone. I preferred it that way. I've been to Egypt and Vegas with the husband, but before that I went to Turkey.

I booked a holiday for four. It had previously been booked by a family who had to cancel at the last minute so I managed to get the whole thing for £119 per person for two weeks. I put a postcard in the window of my local newsagent and three weeks later I met the three girls at the airport I was going to spend the next fortnight with in Turkey. It was one of the best holidays I've ever been on.

I've been to Amsterdam as well as Gouda in Holland. I've visited Barcelona, Kos, Cyprus and Nice to name a few, all alone and they were some of the most enjoyable times of my life.

I loved to be able to just do my own thing every day. To not have to fall in line with what somebody else wanted to do. I could go anywhere I wanted or nowhere at all. I could eat whole roasted cloves of garlic in France and not concern myself with offending anyone.

Is was pure bliss.

On the other hand, the husband has been to Egypt and Vegas with me and to California, San Francisco and Vegas with his brother before he met me.

He's never been out of the country on is own.

In the past year, the husband changed company vehicles. He didn't notify the tax office and neither did his employer until last month and because of this he received a substantial rebate as well as having to pay no tax for two months until the new tax year begins in April.

I have been trying to convince him to use some of that money and take himself off alone for a couple of weekends. He loves his food and I think it would be great for him to spend a few days sipping wine and eating fresh seafood around some of the less touristy, coastal areas of Spain or Portugal or a week relaxing in Sicily.

Nothing would make me happier than for him to have some time to himself, to never look back and say "I wish I had...".

He thinks that he will feel guilty travelling without his family. He thinks that he will miss us and won't enjoy himself. I'm trying to explain to him that this is the point. This should be an opportunity and a time for him to be completely selfish and think only of himself. He spends so much time working for his family and doing everything to please us that I think its very important for him to have something which is just for him and him alone.

I fixed a lot of his wants over the years. He wanted to learn to fly and I arranged two lessons. Paying for him to get his license would have been a bit of a stretch but as it is he has spent two very happy hours flying over the Mourne mountains.

I never object when he buys something for himself whether its a good bottle of whiskey or a games console. In my mind he works hard and he deserves some down time and something to enjoy and look forward to.

However, I just don't seem to be able to talk him round to this idea at all and I can't understand why.

Who, given the opportunity to travel, wouldn't grab it with both hands and run.

I'd really like to know what everyone thinks about this.

Would you be happy for your husband to go on holiday by himself? Would you encourage him? If you're a man, would you go if your wife encouraged you?

And if you're a woman, would you be tempted to go and leave the hubs to fend for himself at home with the kids?


  1. I had a weekend in England to go to a friend's 40th birthday and it was lovely to sit in the airport and not have to worry about anyone else. To eat when I wanted, and just do my own thing.

    So yes - I would jump at the chance!

    Just asked my dh - he wouldn't. Does not understand why we would want to. Maybe it is because he travels a fair bit to conferences and courses. Maybe because we as mums get so little time on our own that to us it would be such a treat.

  2. I love my solitude, so I don't think I'd have a problem traveling alone. In fact, during especially stressful times, I'd love nothing more than to take off by myself for a while.

    However, I must say that I do enjoy local siteseeing much better with my husband than I ever did alone. We have similar tastes and it's nice to make shared memories.

    As for my husband, I'm not sure he'd go vacationing alone. He won't even go on a "guys night out".

  3. Unless there was a football match or some reason to head away by myself I wouldn't want to either, even if my better half thought it in my best interest.

    Maybe if one day we have kids I might change my mind but the best trips I've ever had have all been with my partner.

    I don't reckon solitude is for everyone, at least it isn't for me. Maybe he would feel less bad but still get the benifits you'd like for him being somewhere with you all but just spending a day or two wandering off on his own, thats the kind of 'me' time I would probably envisage appreciating were I in say my dad's shoes back when he would have been in a similar situation.

  4. I would probably enjoy the solitude, but to travel somewhere foreign and do "touristy" things? I'd rather share that with people I love.


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