Cry like a wreck in the corner .... or ....

I only get one option seeing as I'm at home all day with Chloe. Thankfully, I'm pretty good at the whole stiff upper lip thing. It's difficult though, I keep thinking that the next time I see my mum break down openly or stare out a window crying silently, hoping that nobody can see, it will get the better of me and I'll crumble.

My dad was admitted to hospital yesterday morning. He had hurt himself in work on Saturday evening and everything about it played out like your typical pulled muscle.

He'd been pulling one of those large bread trollies (you've seen them in supermarkets only these are too big to see around so they have to be pulled rather than pushed) and he got a sudden pain in his groin. He figured he'd pulled a muscle as it continued to throb and he was in pain, but not so much pain that it kept him off his feet. His boss sent him home from work at about 10pm and later that night a fever started to set in during the night.

My mum found him curled up on the sofa early on Sunday morning under blankets, wearing jumpers and a woolly hat and still he shivered. He still refused to see a doctor, saying that he wasn't going to be laughed out of a doctor's surgery for going in with a pulled muscle. After another awful night on Sunday he finally gave in and went to his gp on Monday morning.

His gp immediately referred him to the hospital with suspected internal bleeding. He was admitted to a ward shortly after arriving at hospital and given a ct scan which showed a growth or thickening in his bowel. We now have to wait until Thursday when a biopsy can be carried out and the rest of his bowel can be checked for any more growths to determine whether the growth is benign or malignant and what exactly has caused it. After that he'll need to have an operation to have it removed.

And now it's just a matter of waiting and trying to carry on ...