Courtesy of Me.
Have you ever sat down and written a list of everything you do in a normal day. Now I don’t mean your “to do” list (nobody really uses those anyway, they’re a myth and anyone telling you otherwise is lying). I’m not talking about the additional stuff, the once in a blue moon thing you have to get done before the end of the day or the obscure phone call that just has to be made. I’m talking about all the day to day junk you deal with probably without ever realising it.
Go on I dare you, grab some paper and start writing. Here’s an idea of my typical day.
6.30am – Haul ass out of bed, get showered, sort hair (somehow) and get dressed.
7.00am – Pour anywhere between one and three cups of coffee down my throat (and more often than not down the front of my clothes).
7.15am – Wake toots and himself, get toots washed and dressed and downstairs for a mini breakfast.
7.30am – WAKE himself.
7.35am – Mini breakfast for toots before going to day care. This is usually fruit but sometimes she’s weird and asks for crackers and cheese.
7.40am – Throw lunch made the previous night into himself’s bag and fill a flask of hot water. Take all bags out to the car and empty bins into wheelie bin while I’m out there.
7.45am – Back inside clean up any mess made by toots, find wherever she threw her coat the night before, shake out the wrinkles and put it on her.
7.50am – Find toots under the kitchen table, find her coat again, shake out the wrinkles, put it on and do up buttons (which she can’t quite manage yet. Ha, score one for mommy).
7.55am – Grab himself by the scruff and out into car to take toots to day care and head to work. Run back inside realising that I’ve forgotten to lift any of MY things.
8.03am – Arrive at day care 3 minutes late, tuck toots up under my arm, hold bag in teeth and run like a linebacker up the stairs in time to see every other child already sitting calmly eating breakfast (Apparently their mothers are a lot more organised than me, bet they’re not as much fun though).
8.05am – Plonk kid still laughing her head off from the jiggle session on the way up the stairs into her seat, big kiss and break my neck trying to get down all 20 stairs in one go. Out to the car and off to work. Knit in the car on the way to work, trying not to have himself’s eye out (I was warned about having someone’s eye out as a kid and I live in fear).
8.45am – Arrive in work, quick breakfast and get stuck in, obviously sneaking a peek or seven at my blog reader and Twitter during the course of the morning. I actually got completely caught up this morning and spent a few minutes doing my happy dance, so it’s not all bad.
1.00pm – Lunchtime which usually means running out the door to go to the bank, post office, shop to pick entire new wardrobe because toots has invariably outgrown every item of clothing overnight. I think I maybe get one lunch hour per week without anything to do but sit and chill.
2.00pm – Back to work.
5.00pm – Run like a (slightly overweight) whippet to catch the 5.07pm bus.
5.45pm (ish) – Arrive in bus station to be collect by himself, who is in a fantastic mood not having just had a mouth breathing drool beast fall asleep on his shoulder. Obviously I get no sympathy, he drives, and apparently I should too.
5.55pm – collect toots from nursery, head home, start cooking dinner and cleaning kitchen without removing coat, handbag or child slung casually around my neck.
6.20pm – Why is getting one grown man and a small child to sit at a table like trying to herd cattle? Feed them in front of TV whilst allowing them to watch some suitable educational television (alright Spongebob, I think my mum of the year award’s been lost in the post. Hmmm).
While they eat, I make beds, clean bathrooms, water plants, the usual.
7.15pm – Himself baths toots while I have something quick to eat, then it’s story time. My one relaxing time of the day and I have to admit I usually wind up falling asleep with her and waking up with glasses steamed up from hot preschooler breath.
7.45pm – Makes lunches and organise clothes and uniforms needed for the following day, making sure everything’s ironed and doesn’t have a button waiting to fall off just as you step over a drain or something else you wouldn’t put your hand into for a button.
8.00pm – I’m on a one room a day blast. I’ve been at it for a few weeks now and so far it’s working like a charm. Basically it involves finding a room in the house that it’s being used, kitchen, bathroom, spare room, doesn’t matter just pick one and get stuck in. Clean for around 30 minutes and call yourself done. I have to say from I’ve started this I’m starting to see the difference. None of the rooms ever get really badly out of the order and each room, gets more and more organised the more often I hit it and I don’t have to feel guilty about taking a night off.
8.30pm – Shower.
9.00pm – midnight or so – knitting, writing, paying bills, reading, filling in paperwork. Whatever needs to be done, and trust me there is always something.
Midnight – 1.00am – fall into bed, or wake up in the dark in the living room and make my way to bed.
So when exactly do I have time to write things like this (I’ll pretend I hear you ask). Remember me saying I was cleared up early this morning. If I can manage this everyday, technically I’m being paid for blogging. Sssh, don’t tell anyone.
Actually the only thing that befuddles me is when did I, start having to do all these things. I don’t remember a time before I had to do them.
I do have a faint recollection of a lazy cow, convinced she was sooo busy trying to decide which expensive oils to use in her bath and which bottle of wine she would have that night.
God I hate her.
My Reader's cup runneth over and all that.
