My Paranoid Fear - Rational or Not?
I have mentioned before that I have a paranoid fear involving toots.
I think everyone has something that scares the wits out of them when it comes to their kids, but the very few people I've told about mine think I'm a lunatic.
I think it's a very real possibility, you hear about things like this all the time.
Basically, Himself has to go away for training to keep up to date in his job every once in the bluest of moons. I am completely convinced, regardless of the fact that it hasn't happened yet, that the very first day of his week away I will fall down the stairs and break my neck or something that will leave me completely incapacitated and unable to call for help.
Because of this I've now got into the habit that the bottom shelf in the Glory Hole and the bottom shelf in the fridge belong to toots, they are her domain. In the fridge the bottom shelf consists solely of yogurts, cheese, juice, bottled water, pepperoni snacks and some similar items.
In the Glory Hole are oat bake bars, cereals, cookies, crisps and the like. I also keep a well stocked fruit bowl on the kitchen table which she can and does easily gain access to.
All this is so that while I am in a crumpled heap on the floor she can feed and sustain herself until daddy gets home in a week.
OK, I'll admit laid out like that it does sound a bit stupid. It may have been far easier to teach her to call the police, or nana, but this is the way my brain functions, so I tend to go with it.
Also, someone calls to my home every single day of the week, if anything like this did happen it would be a matter of hours before someone came along to help, but still I think that, what if... What if everybody was busy for a change and nobody called and she had to wait a whole week.
Anyway, that about sums it up. I have other paranoid moments. I'm very protective of her, she's the only one I have and I can't have anymore so that makes her all the more important.
More important than me.
So kiddo, if you ever read this, mommy didn't teach you to call the police because she thought at the time it was more important for you to look after yourself than get help for mommy.